6 Rules That Helped Me Be A Better Stepmom

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  1. Don’t take things personally.

As a Stepmom it is natural to be sensitive to what is going on in the household, Many times the words and actions of others can feel like they are directed at us. I have often overanalyzed what everyone in the house is doing and feeling. What I have learned is that 99% of the time, it is NOT about me! 

Even if there is something directed towards you, know that is not due to your character or the amount of effort you are putting in. Kids (and bio parents) can have some BIG emotions that they don’t always know how to express. Unfortunately, Stepparents can take the brunt of it. 

  1. Making assumptions never ends well.

Sometimes we go into a situation anticipating a particular scenario or outcome without getting all of the facts and information. This could be based on a previous experience or conversation that triggered our emotions. The best way to approach a potentially difficult or dynamic situation is to go in with an open mind. Don’t make assumptions about how others are going to react or what they may say.  If you can do that you will move towards a more positive outcome with open communication. You may even see things from a new perspective. 

  1. Get curious before you get furious.

This is an extension of avoiding assumptions. Before we react or get upset about a particular situation, ask some questions; get curious. We all operate from different value systems. There may be something your spouse or stepchild is placing value on that is driving them to act a certain way. Before you react, ask them what is going on in their world and try to see things from their perspective.

  1. Nourish and feed your hobbies and interests.

Stay true to what fires you up and gives you energy. This is important for every aspect of your life, not just parenting. If we place priority on things that give us energy and make us happy this will seep into our family life, and our relationships and create positivity around us. Having hobbies and interests in NOT SELFISH. Get out there and make time for the things that bring you joy.

  1. Don’t sweat the small stuff – sounds easy, but it is very hard.

This can be very difficult to implement. It sounds so easy but when you are in the moment it can be hard to take a step back and let things go. One trick is to ask yourself “Will it matter in a day or a week, or a month?”. If it won’t let it go. Emotions can run high in blended families and we may want to speak up and express our opinions or thoughts. Before doing so, ask yourself if it is worth potential hurt feelings or misunderstandings.

Try to remember the positive qualities of your spouse or stepkids that outweigh any small potential situation that is likely fleeting and unimportant. 

  1. Don’t ever be afraid to ask for help or guidance.

Most importantly, don’t be afraid to ask for help! This could be from a friend, coach or professional therapist. This can help keep things in perspective and learn new tools to positively deal with the pressures and opportunities that come from being a Stepmom.

I am here to help, book a call today to see how we can work together! 

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about me & why I am so passionate about helping you

Hi, i'm Karmin!

It's been a journey. I am a Stepmom, and I may not have experienced it all, but I have been through A LOT. I became a Stepmom to a little girl and was so lucky to be a part of raising her for 6 years. Through this experience, I felt every feeling and experienced almost every scenario as a Stepmom (this is not an exaggeration).

I felt unappreciated, unheard, and lost. I spent hours and hours trying to figure out what to do to feel more comfortable and accepted. During this time, as can happen in blended families, the relationship broke down, and we decided to part ways. This decision was heartbreaking. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and the emotional fallout from losing a Stepdaughter was more than I could have ever expected.

I then started my search for support from other Stepmoms going through the same thing, but I didn't find what I was looking for. I felt complete uncertainty of where to turn. 




After I picked myself up from my bathroom floor, I decided that I was going to live my best life and help other Stepmoms to do the same. I worked on myself and reflected on six years of co-parenting, relationship building, communication, and what happiness meant to me. 

I did the inner work, day after day. I figured out what I needed, how to communicate better, how to deal with triggers, and what being a Stepmom really means. In all this, I have been so blessed to build a life I love with balance, happiness, support, and only room to grow.

I am engaged to my soulmate, a Stepmom to two amazingly cool kids (also two dogs and a temperamental cat named Stuart), and I am helping other Stepmoms build their best lives. Sometimes, we just need someone to say I have been there, and I can help. Not all of the support we need can come from a textbook or the good intentioned friend who has never walked in our shoes.

Where I am today - 

With all of my life experiences, i can promise you - i have walked miles in these shoes and I have been there. I am a board certified Life and Success Coach, NLP and EFT Practitioner, as well as a certified Clinical Hypnotherapy and T.I.M.E. Techniques practitioner.

how we can work together