Being a Stepmom is a role like no other. You are a Mom, however, you aren’t. You have roles and responsibilities that are sometimes laid out by others. You can participate in some activities but not always all of them. You can care for a child like they are yours but also feel like “just the Stepmom.” Not to mention, your partner has weekly, if not daily, communication with their ex. We can have many triggers as Stepmoms, that can throw us off our game and set us back in our day.  

However, it doesn’t have to be this way.

There are ways that can help us deal with triggers and eliminate the anxiety and stress that come with being a Stepmom.

1. Set an intention every day. When you wake up in the morning, take a minute and set an intention for the day. Setting an intention will set your day up for success and make it less likely that you will allow outside events to trigger you. When we wake up, we often relive a past experience or worry about the future. We set ourselves up for a situation that hasn’t even happened yet. By setting an intention at the beginning of the day, we choose our energy and how we will show up that day. There may be situations that come up throughout the day, but by going into them with high energy and an intention for a specific outcome, we can decrease our stress and anxiety.
2. Reframe the situation. Maybe we are feeling triggered because our stepchild said something we didn’t like or they did something we disagreed with. Take a minute to stop before reacting and reframe the situation. Taking yourself out of the problem and looking at it from a different perspective can immediately decrease your anxiety and negative emotions. Maybe that child fought with their friend or feels insecure about having two households, and they express their feelings the only way they know how. Take a minute, look at the situation from a different perspective, and come into it from a place of curiosity and understanding.
3. Allow yourself grace. As a Stepmom, you always try your best and think of everyone else. You make the best lunches; you make sure everyone has their homework done; you plan an amazing birthday party only to find out that one has already been planned and you were the last to know. Sometimes, we try to do everything only to be disappointed. The truth is there are many moving parts in co-parenting roles with many people involved. As a Stepmom, allow yourself the grace to duck out when needed. You don’t have to be everything to everyone; no one expects you to. Sometimes, you may need to work it out at the gym or have a glass of wine with a book while the other parents take over, which is ok. 
4. EFT Tapping. Emotional freedom technique (EFT) is a great way to decrease anxiety and deal with triggers. It’s also referred to as tapping or psychological acupressure. EFT Tapping can reduce anxiety by up to 40%. By doing something such as EFT Tapping or meditation, you can immediately step out of the situation that is causing your stress hormones to increase and build emotional tension. For more information on EFT Tapping, book a free Discovery Call today.
5. Remember why. Take time daily to remind yourself why you are a Stepmom and what your role means. It has been studied that Stepmoms can significantly impact their stepchildren. Too often, we look at this role from a negative perspective, forgetting that there are always people looking up to us who need direction. You may be the calm voice in an environment of chaos. You may be the strong female role model your stepchildren need at that moment. Remember why you chose to be a Stepmom. It may not be how you envisioned it, but remembering your why and the impact you want to have will allow you to see past immediate triggers and the long-term success of your relationships. 

Many times, as a Stepmom, we find ourselves in uncomfortable situations. Finding effective ways to deal with the emotional ups and downs of stepparenting allows your relationships to grow and leads you to reach your highest Stepmom potential. You’ve got this girl!